Rain.

That sweet sound of pitter patter, pitter patter.  I never thought I'd miss it so much.

Rain in the south dripping through the heavy moss canopy.

I don't understand WHY I need to hear it but I do.  Rain brings a certain peace to my soul.  For me it means romance, foreboding, cleansing and life.  Being an avid reader, there is nothing like curling up in a chair, cup of coffee spiked with Bailey's and a good book.  The windows are open and that oh so heavenly smell furls into the house as I open Wuthering Heights or another classic.

Everyone out here raves about all the sunshine and perfect weather.  I guess it's not so perfect for this southern girl.

I told a friend last week 'I'm going to become a storm chaser soon.'  Imagine me curled up with my laptop combing the radar screens for just ONE large patch of rain.  And then insanely throwing the kids in the car and racing towards it.

Rain on my hands brings me back to childhood.

And then,  I anticipate dancing in it.  Absorbing all that it is.  All that it represents.  It brings life to this earth and I glean my energy from nature.  I find God in nature and part of Him is missing.

 Even the kids miss rain subconsciously.  One morning we were blessed with a heavy misting and Nora woke up early.  She pulled a body pillow up to the glass sliding door laid down and said, 'I'm just going to watch the rain.'

Invisible Chronic Illness

28 Things about My Illness

1. The illness I live with is: Fibromyalgia and Peripheral Neuropathy

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: May 2013

3. But I had symptoms since: Jan. 2011

4. The biggest adjustment I've had to make is: Knowing and respecting the limits of my body.  Understanding that the people in my life, even the ones that are close don't understand those limits

5. Most people assume: That mind of matter works with this disease.

6. The hardest part about mornings are: Getting my body out of bed.  I wake up feeling pummeled and stiff from head to toe.  My mind is very slow to boot up, the kids are immediately chirping requests and coffee doesn't put a dent in the fatigue.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: House, when it was on.  Now I feel like one of his cases

8. A gadget I couldn't live without is: My pedometer.  I just started using one about 6 wks ago to challenge myself to move every day, no excuses.

9. The hardest part about nights are: Winding down.  The pain and aching of the day sets in.  My skin feels tingly and itches, my joints start throbbing.

10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins:  I take 4 different pills and vitamins a day

11. Regarding alternative treatments I:  I am open, but don't think they are the cure.  What is one man's medicine, can be anothers poison.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose:  Most of the time I wish some part of it was 100% visible.  Not for the sympathy, but I could say 'I'm too tired' and people wouldn't question it.

13. Regarding working and career: I've been a stay at home mom for 5 yrs now.  Part of accepting my limitations flows into future career choice.  I love working in plant nurseries, but my body can't take the physical labor or exposure to the heat/cold anymore.  Trying to find something that still lets me use my passion for plants.

14. People would be surprised to know:  I still dream of doing a half marathon, even if I walk it.  Need to get my mental and physical courage up for it.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: Giving up my dreams and finding new ones.  Being ok with the new daily challenges.  Accepting the emotional roller coaster that this disease puts me through.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was:  Accept it.

17. The commercials about my illness:  Don't even come close to describing the symptoms and challenges adequately

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is:  Having limitless energy to play with my kids


19. It was really hard to have to give up:  Playing tennis in different competitive leagues.  I get tired too quickly to last through a match.  

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Walking

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would:  Take a all day hike into the mountains with my husband.

22. My illness has taught me: To be patient with myself and swallow a lot of pride.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: The most stinging comment I've gotten is ''I know people that have gone through worse, they were so strong and never cried."  Thanks for marginalizing my journey.

24. But I love it when people: Understand that I am saying 'no' but I REALLY want to say yes.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:  ''You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it means hurting people you love.''

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them:  This is a long journey.  It will bring you to the heights of mountains and to your knees.  You will lose friends that will never understand and gain ones that become pillars of strength.  You will laugh, cry, smile, scream, love, rage and have a whole host of other emotions.  All of this is normal.  

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How strong I can be when I need to.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn't feeling well was:  Took my kids for a couple days so my husband and I could process everything.  Its hard to process emotions when little ones are around.

A few more pics

It seems blogger wants to put the pics in whatever order it likes!  Or I'm just technically confused.

One of the reasons we went to Texas is because Nora was a flower girl in my cousins wedding.

Looking beautiful in the ''princess room'' before the ceremony.

''Mom, they kissed.  It was gross!''

Picking up the flower petals after the ceremony

Our future Aunt Kaitlyn teaching the kids YMCA.

Dancing with Daddy.  Have a couple more shots of them dancing that may
get framed.