I've been hitting the gym HARD people. Been there 14 times in 24 days and I've GAINED 9 lbs. I do at least 45 mins. of cardio and then lift weights. What the heck! Are you kidding, this must be a joke from the evil, evil scale. Please someone tell me it's muscle and as Becka said today 'I should be beastie, if that's all muscle'....errr.
I admit to having a Xmas party EVERY Saturday night this month, baking WAY too many cookies, and vegging when I'm not at the gym. All that said. Nine pounds is 27,000 calories I consumed but did not burn off. I really don't see how THAT would be possible considering most of the 9 lbs has happened in the last 10 days. Please let this be a fluke, water retention, some mean trick by the Xmas Weight Grinch!
I will say this. I can't SEE the 9 lbs in the mirror. NONE of my clothes are fitting tight, in fact my shirts are fitting better. So I will got with the 'it's muscle' theory for now and continue my treadmill craziness.
Vent over now.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
The Shack
WOW! What a deep and powerful read. I will apologize now for spoiling it for anyone currently reading the book or intending to!
I rarely talk about my religious beliefs because I think your walk with God is personal and a somewhat solitary journey we must take. The church I was raised in was very conservative with the red carpet, carved alter, 22 stain-glassed windows, organ and beautiful oak pews. It was established in 1845 as First Protestant Church, the first church of New Braunfels for the German refugees. A church does not feel comfortable to me without the above and I've had a VERY hard time finding one that I like here in Georgia. I choose to read religious texts, fiction or non-fiction, on my own to further my beliefs and strength in God.
In that grain, I picked up 'The Shack' about a month ago and sat down for my journey. The story is premised on a man, Mack, who has lost his daughter through abduction and murder and has sworn off his relationship with God. It slowly unfolds as his journey back to forgiveness and healing.
We've ALL been angry with God at some point in our lives, not understanding the why or how. The main character, Mack, is at this stage in his life. Mack is called back to the 'shack' where his daughter's body was found and he finds God and Jesus waiting for him to call him back to their arms.
Mack's wife has always had a deep relationship with God, whom she calls 'Papa' to signify her closeness to him. This is a turnoff for Mack because he can't understand having that kind of intimacy with an 'unknown' power or being. I can only hope to have that kind of intimacy with God one day in my life. I am constantly in awe of people with such profound outspoken faiths, but just as in awe of the strong silence that is His presence.
Through all the conversations Mack has with God he learns that his denouncement has only made God's call stronger. My belief is that we either choose to hear his call or ignore it but his heart wants us to listen. Maybe this listening just comes harder for some as we question the 'whys' that we do not understand.
The most poignant part of the story for me was when Mack, got to SEE his daughter in her heaven enjoying her time, waiting for her family. As my sister, Allison left us when she was 4, the moment struck a heartstring. Mom, dad, and me have all had this EXACT journey that Mack had. A child taken too soon. A family torn and put back together through grace and strength.
One of the beliefs that has always been with me as an adult is that God will forgive you, no matter what you've done, how long you've been gone, or what you believed before. I do not believe you have to seat yourself in a pew EVERY Sunday morning to know God or for him to know your heart. I believe that some people hide behind the label 'Christian' who are not truely living for the church. Christianity is to be a listener, loving, have goodwill, and to not judge. 'The Shack' attests to all of this. That God is waiting, not judging, and when your ready so is he.
The author makes one note that I'm still pondering on. Jesus at one point says 'I am not the church, I am not Christian'...in a way that is true he is Christ, the namesake for the religion that WE made to teach HIS lessons. Jesus in the book talks about how he came to earth to teach his father's lessons of compassion, love, forgiveness, and sacrifice his soul to show us the way. So if Jesus is NOT Christianity this means he was sent for ALL the worlds' people, each culture adapting his lessons into their own belief system. If this is TRUE then Christianity is NOT the only way to God, because by this logic God is truely THE Father of ALL earth's people, not one sector of them.
Furthermore, Jesus is not pleased that wars and conflicts are started in the name of Christianity, because he certainly didn't teach violence. And he didn't teach us to PUSH beliefs onto others by submission or threat. 'The Shack' depicts him as a silent force that will over come the walls and boundaries of human souls with a strong peace of knowing him. Because we are human, we will continue to justify actions because we think OUR way is better or right, even if we are actually going against the principles behind the label of Christian.
In the end, the journey will be both incredible and unbearable, a grasping for grace and wholeness that will end the day I leave this earth. Until then I search to find my beliefs, my road, and put my soul entwined with God's. I do not question the path I have to take, for it is MINE alone and should bear no judgment from others. I only have to judge my own journey.
I rarely talk about my religious beliefs because I think your walk with God is personal and a somewhat solitary journey we must take. The church I was raised in was very conservative with the red carpet, carved alter, 22 stain-glassed windows, organ and beautiful oak pews. It was established in 1845 as First Protestant Church, the first church of New Braunfels for the German refugees. A church does not feel comfortable to me without the above and I've had a VERY hard time finding one that I like here in Georgia. I choose to read religious texts, fiction or non-fiction, on my own to further my beliefs and strength in God.
In that grain, I picked up 'The Shack' about a month ago and sat down for my journey. The story is premised on a man, Mack, who has lost his daughter through abduction and murder and has sworn off his relationship with God. It slowly unfolds as his journey back to forgiveness and healing.
We've ALL been angry with God at some point in our lives, not understanding the why or how. The main character, Mack, is at this stage in his life. Mack is called back to the 'shack' where his daughter's body was found and he finds God and Jesus waiting for him to call him back to their arms.
Mack's wife has always had a deep relationship with God, whom she calls 'Papa' to signify her closeness to him. This is a turnoff for Mack because he can't understand having that kind of intimacy with an 'unknown' power or being. I can only hope to have that kind of intimacy with God one day in my life. I am constantly in awe of people with such profound outspoken faiths, but just as in awe of the strong silence that is His presence.
Through all the conversations Mack has with God he learns that his denouncement has only made God's call stronger. My belief is that we either choose to hear his call or ignore it but his heart wants us to listen. Maybe this listening just comes harder for some as we question the 'whys' that we do not understand.
The most poignant part of the story for me was when Mack, got to SEE his daughter in her heaven enjoying her time, waiting for her family. As my sister, Allison left us when she was 4, the moment struck a heartstring. Mom, dad, and me have all had this EXACT journey that Mack had. A child taken too soon. A family torn and put back together through grace and strength.
One of the beliefs that has always been with me as an adult is that God will forgive you, no matter what you've done, how long you've been gone, or what you believed before. I do not believe you have to seat yourself in a pew EVERY Sunday morning to know God or for him to know your heart. I believe that some people hide behind the label 'Christian' who are not truely living for the church. Christianity is to be a listener, loving, have goodwill, and to not judge. 'The Shack' attests to all of this. That God is waiting, not judging, and when your ready so is he.
The author makes one note that I'm still pondering on. Jesus at one point says 'I am not the church, I am not Christian'...in a way that is true he is Christ, the namesake for the religion that WE made to teach HIS lessons. Jesus in the book talks about how he came to earth to teach his father's lessons of compassion, love, forgiveness, and sacrifice his soul to show us the way. So if Jesus is NOT Christianity this means he was sent for ALL the worlds' people, each culture adapting his lessons into their own belief system. If this is TRUE then Christianity is NOT the only way to God, because by this logic God is truely THE Father of ALL earth's people, not one sector of them.
Furthermore, Jesus is not pleased that wars and conflicts are started in the name of Christianity, because he certainly didn't teach violence. And he didn't teach us to PUSH beliefs onto others by submission or threat. 'The Shack' depicts him as a silent force that will over come the walls and boundaries of human souls with a strong peace of knowing him. Because we are human, we will continue to justify actions because we think OUR way is better or right, even if we are actually going against the principles behind the label of Christian.
In the end, the journey will be both incredible and unbearable, a grasping for grace and wholeness that will end the day I leave this earth. Until then I search to find my beliefs, my road, and put my soul entwined with God's. I do not question the path I have to take, for it is MINE alone and should bear no judgment from others. I only have to judge my own journey.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Character Depedence...
So, I really don't like 'character' items...tshirts, cups, hats, plates...you name it I just don't see the point. Rich has gotten used to me saying 'It was a cute outfit, then I spotted the stupid Pooh' It is true, Winnie the Pooh takes the brunt of my dislike, for which I cannot explain. But then again I was not raised with videos, movies, or much television.
Where is this all going you say! Observing how much toddlers are dependent on their 'characters' as friends. EVERY THING has to be about Pooh, Dora, Barbie, Spiderman, Cars...you get the point. What happened to imagination? More and more I see kiddos reliant on entertainment from their tv friends, refusing sippies that don't have the 'right' character, coloring books must be a certain cartoon.
Seriously, there are tantrums happening over these things and parents are giving in. What happened to being the adult and kids learning about disappointment. Or have we just become a nation so 'tired' from the stresses that we give in.
So I have declared war on this dependence and am trying to instill an imagination in Nora. She's only allowed 1 hr of tv per day, although there a couple days a week when that 's a little more. We color, play with blocks, do playdough, and soon I'll introduce paint!
Where is this all going you say! Observing how much toddlers are dependent on their 'characters' as friends. EVERY THING has to be about Pooh, Dora, Barbie, Spiderman, Cars...you get the point. What happened to imagination? More and more I see kiddos reliant on entertainment from their tv friends, refusing sippies that don't have the 'right' character, coloring books must be a certain cartoon.
Seriously, there are tantrums happening over these things and parents are giving in. What happened to being the adult and kids learning about disappointment. Or have we just become a nation so 'tired' from the stresses that we give in.
So I have declared war on this dependence and am trying to instill an imagination in Nora. She's only allowed 1 hr of tv per day, although there a couple days a week when that 's a little more. We color, play with blocks, do playdough, and soon I'll introduce paint!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Nora News
SO Cute!
She tried to 'play' with Phebs this week. She took a small stuffed frog and dropped it on the ground next to Phebs, then squatted and stared at the kitty. Phebs didn't 'play' so she did it again. This time when Phebs didn't respond she yelled in frustration and did it for a third time...then gave up
Rich told me this one since I was asleep when it happened. She was downstairs getting breakfast and after breakfast went to the fridge. She pointed at the fridge and told Rich 'Jewjew' That her word for juice. Absolutely AWESOME that she is now communicating her needs!
Rich told me this one as well, I was at the gym. He was playing on the computer and she wanted 'up'...So he put Nora in his lap. There was a VERY small picture of me on Facebook. Nora said 'mama', Rich asked 'where's mama'...she pointed at the little picture on the screen! Now if only I had been here! She hardly EVER says mama, it's always about 'dada'
She tried to 'play' with Phebs this week. She took a small stuffed frog and dropped it on the ground next to Phebs, then squatted and stared at the kitty. Phebs didn't 'play' so she did it again. This time when Phebs didn't respond she yelled in frustration and did it for a third time...then gave up
Rich told me this one since I was asleep when it happened. She was downstairs getting breakfast and after breakfast went to the fridge. She pointed at the fridge and told Rich 'Jewjew' That her word for juice. Absolutely AWESOME that she is now communicating her needs!
Rich told me this one as well, I was at the gym. He was playing on the computer and she wanted 'up'...So he put Nora in his lap. There was a VERY small picture of me on Facebook. Nora said 'mama', Rich asked 'where's mama'...she pointed at the little picture on the screen! Now if only I had been here! She hardly EVER says mama, it's always about 'dada'
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I don't hug...sorry
I've done a LOT of reflection since becoming a mom and have come to the realization that I don't hug people. And it's not intentional, done out of spite, or hatred to those around me.
I think all personality traits are formed by your upbringing, what you saw, heard, learned, etc....My parents came from very strict German households, a culture that back then was more focused on work and succeeding than rearing touchy, feely children.
My paternal grandfather was raised by his single mother with his brother. My great grandfather died of the influenze pandemic of 1918, he caught it while nursing his own father. Both men died leaving their wives alone to raise children and get through the Depression. I've observed my now 89 yr. old grandfather enough through the years to see the stiff hugs, buck up attitude to know emotionally where my father came from. My dad has worked HARD to show my sister and I affection and love beyond what his father did.
My maternal grandmother was raised by her single mom with her sister. My great grandfather died of a heart attack at the age of 36, yes, 36 yrs old. My grandmother was 10 and her sister 7. So, my mom grew up with a mommy that also didn't know two sided parental love. Or have roll models for that. Once again my mother has worked hard to fixed the past through her daughters.
I am very blessed to have the parents that I do. For them to realize where they came from and what their children needed, that was not present for them. I got hugs growing up, don't get me wrong. I just have to be REALLY close to you to extend those arms of friendship. The people I hug the most are blood relatives or people that I've known ALL my life. You know those family friends that might as well be blood because they know all your secrets anyways.
I'm sitting here trying to think of the 50+ friends Rich and I have here in Atlanta. I think I've hugged maybe 6. Which makes me sort of sad and mad at myself. What must all of you be thinking! That I'm cold, don't care. The fact of the matter is that I do, be patient with me as I get over some hurdles in my life.
This all being said. That is where I come from. That is my emotional history.
I think all personality traits are formed by your upbringing, what you saw, heard, learned, etc....My parents came from very strict German households, a culture that back then was more focused on work and succeeding than rearing touchy, feely children.
My paternal grandfather was raised by his single mother with his brother. My great grandfather died of the influenze pandemic of 1918, he caught it while nursing his own father. Both men died leaving their wives alone to raise children and get through the Depression. I've observed my now 89 yr. old grandfather enough through the years to see the stiff hugs, buck up attitude to know emotionally where my father came from. My dad has worked HARD to show my sister and I affection and love beyond what his father did.
My maternal grandmother was raised by her single mom with her sister. My great grandfather died of a heart attack at the age of 36, yes, 36 yrs old. My grandmother was 10 and her sister 7. So, my mom grew up with a mommy that also didn't know two sided parental love. Or have roll models for that. Once again my mother has worked hard to fixed the past through her daughters.
I am very blessed to have the parents that I do. For them to realize where they came from and what their children needed, that was not present for them. I got hugs growing up, don't get me wrong. I just have to be REALLY close to you to extend those arms of friendship. The people I hug the most are blood relatives or people that I've known ALL my life. You know those family friends that might as well be blood because they know all your secrets anyways.
I'm sitting here trying to think of the 50+ friends Rich and I have here in Atlanta. I think I've hugged maybe 6. Which makes me sort of sad and mad at myself. What must all of you be thinking! That I'm cold, don't care. The fact of the matter is that I do, be patient with me as I get over some hurdles in my life.
This all being said. That is where I come from. That is my emotional history.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The great Christmas Debate
Rich and I had this problem last year, what do you get an infant for Christmas? They don't even realize the meaning of the day or the traditions behind the celebration.
Last year we decided to start her college fund as her gift, because what would be a better gift for her in the future?!
This year we were stumped for a while, until we went to Texas in early November. Nora discovered dad's sand horseshoe pits! Much fun was had...see video evidence here.
The "hunt" was ON! We decided to go simple and found a great little ladybug sandbox online. Cost a whopping $40, plus shipping. What a DEAL!
I think we are undecided on whether or not she'll have to wait for the gift or not. But seeing as it's so cold for the next few month I can't imagine her using it much. Maybe as an indoor ball pit until spring? OOOOH, that could be fun. Might have to hit the thrift stores for cheap balls......
Last year we decided to start her college fund as her gift, because what would be a better gift for her in the future?!
This year we were stumped for a while, until we went to Texas in early November. Nora discovered dad's sand horseshoe pits! Much fun was had...see video evidence here.
The "hunt" was ON! We decided to go simple and found a great little ladybug sandbox online. Cost a whopping $40, plus shipping. What a DEAL!
I think we are undecided on whether or not she'll have to wait for the gift or not. But seeing as it's so cold for the next few month I can't imagine her using it much. Maybe as an indoor ball pit until spring? OOOOH, that could be fun. Might have to hit the thrift stores for cheap balls......
Nora News
Words
Cheese - ChEEEEE
Bottle - baba
NiteNite - Nienie
Shoes - SHOOOO
Nora has also started 'finding' her tummy.....
Me: Nora where's your tummy
Nora pats tummy
Me: Nora show mama your tummy
Nora picks up shirt puts finger in belly button, giggles. SO sweet!
Foods - She really likes kiwi and rice cake. This week she ate a WHOLE kiwi with breakfast everyday. I'm SO glad she's an adventurous little eater! Although it may change with time it's nice for now.
Qtip Queen.
Nora is now tall enough to reach into our up most bathroom drawers. Last week she discovered the Qtips. ERRRRRR. She thinks they are GREAT! So, every morning she grabs qtips out of the drawer, comes into the bedroom, and proceeds to stuff them between the matress and box springs one at a time. Giggle,....repeat process....
Cheese - ChEEEEE
Bottle - baba
NiteNite - Nienie
Shoes - SHOOOO
Nora has also started 'finding' her tummy.....
Me: Nora where's your tummy
Nora pats tummy
Me: Nora show mama your tummy
Nora picks up shirt puts finger in belly button, giggles. SO sweet!
Foods - She really likes kiwi and rice cake. This week she ate a WHOLE kiwi with breakfast everyday. I'm SO glad she's an adventurous little eater! Although it may change with time it's nice for now.
Qtip Queen.
Nora is now tall enough to reach into our up most bathroom drawers. Last week she discovered the Qtips. ERRRRRR. She thinks they are GREAT! So, every morning she grabs qtips out of the drawer, comes into the bedroom, and proceeds to stuff them between the matress and box springs one at a time. Giggle,....repeat process....
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