Forever, a moment, a whisper....

Someone once told me, there are three types of friends and each person has a distinct definition of each.

Life long, the ones that you always talk to, have always been there. The friends that are closer than family. Your life novel carries them to the end.

Purposeful, these friends see you through a period of your life. Touching your spirit just enough to nudge you down a path. Call them a supporting character that appears for a few chapters.

Whispers. There for just a moment, putting a brief sentence into your story.

There is an emotional honesty to the last fifteen years of my life, trying to grow into an adult. The journey filled with shifting moods. Pride, happiness, envy, joy, pain, love, temptation, jealousy, laughter.

Life long friends can be connected to all of these and still love you. Recognize your faults for the human condition God created in us. Wait patiently in the wings for you to turn a corner in triumph.

Problems lie in the middle for me. The what could have been gets to me. In most cases, I understand the natural ebb of relationships. Others are a mystery.

I don't like the loose ends, tickling my conscience with a sand paper edge. With the predisposition to internally interrogate myself, I make my own assumptions. To afraid to ask for an answer. Does anyone want to look at themselves in the mirror that closely?

I tell myself over and over....let go, let go, ...let go.

I pray to leave only happiness and contentment in this world, knowing it's not humanly possible. It is possible to forgive. So much harder to forgive oneself than others.

Let go, let go.....let go. A whisper I say to myself.

I Fall Down...

...But don't get up again, walking is slowing me down.

Little man needs to figure this walking thing out! It's been three weeks since he took those first steps at Mimi and Poppie's on July 11th.

A holding pattern has emerged. Up, walk 4-8 steps, lose balance, cry in disappointment and skitter off crawling. Content to be a floor dweller.

Is this a confidence thing? Every mom tells me their boys walked later than the girls.

Part of me thinks he's just attached to idea of riding on my hip. Forever, asking for his 'meh meh.' with his hands extended. I can not refuse his little face and quivering lip.

Maybe sister is making the game of horsey chase too exciting. Minutes filled with giggles and screeches around the coffee table, peeking underneath and turning around to say 'Boooooo!' Best little buddy game EVER!

I must be grateful though. That he is a happy, happy child that is so eager to please us. He will walk when he will walk.

In the years ahead, he will fall down many times, in many ways trying to learn life lessons.

Just A Normal Day....

Opened my eyes to see the clock. Noooooo, go back to sleep! Six-forty five are you insane little man, go back to sleep.

No dice. Stumble down the stairs with ecstatically chipper boy. Put him on floor, drag out milk and creamer. Concentrate for 5 seconds, do not give baby Mocha chino flavored milk.

Peruse the bill board, pay seven bills and hand those to the hubby while kissing him out the door.

Forty minutes later, swig stone cold coffee down and run out the door. Bank, thrift store, Old Time Pottery, gas, and another thrift store...random thought across my brain. Memo: Did you put your new tag on the license plate? Nooooo! Oh, dear night, where is it, where is it! If I lost it do I have to pay advelorum taxes again? Found it! Stick it there, say blessed thank you for a cop not pulling me over in the meantime.

Home, lunch, now grumpy little man down for nap. Toss the laundry in, look out the back windows. That wooded mess is ticking me off...collect leaf bags, trim trim trim, finding my zen happy place while snipping away. Get Nora Popsicle, swing her, discover spiders in her playhouse. Snip, snip...oh that is so much better!

Weed the veggie garden, pick the tomatoes and cucumbers. Trim the basil. Water everything.

Shower, switch laundry and lay like vegetable on the couch for an hour watching WordWorld with Nora. Chat it up with friend expecting twins, have fun discussing baby names. Little man wakes up, play ball game, listen to him fuss, snacks for everybody, and pick up toys.

Why do I hear water running? Oh for heavens sake! Left the hose on in the garden for 3 hrs, water bill is going to be fantastic.

Oh good. Rich is home. Eat a hurried dinner and send him off to tire the kids out. Clean the kitchen and take out trash. Switch the laundry and put some away.

Play a riveting game of find the toy pieces. Exhaust all possibilities trying to find 4 balls, two puzzle pieces and a Barbie crown.

Draw on client plan for two hours. Contemplate a glass of wine and good book later.

Bath time and snuggles for kidlets.....what will I do with myself tomorrow?

I hope it's as interesting as today.