Project - Clean out the closet! At my parent's house that is.....better said...An Inventory of my Life...
Amongst the inventory I found a manilla envelope containing most, if not ALL of the love letters from my first boyfriend. Started dating him when I was 18. What can I say, late bloomer here!
It was fascinating to look at myself, on paper, 12-13 yrs later. All the hopes and dreams and promises of forever that the first flush of love brings. We dealt with a lot in those months, his terminal illness, family deaths, separation, more illness....sort of unfair for teenagers to have to swallow. But we swallowed it and helped each other along. I once read that there are 3 kinds of 'friends'
Ones that stay your entire life
Ones who come in and out of your life
Ones that are there to shape one part of your life then leave forever
I think first loves must be there to show you the road for a while, all the highs and lows and then disappear. Maybe that's why they say first love dies hard. It all your firsts, secrets, and soul given to one person that you trusted til the ends of earth. You will always wonder where they are, how there doing, and if they remember too. Love changes things for sure because after that first heartbreak, I think you become more cautious and closed the next time around. I realized in those letters how much that 16 mth relationship forever shaped the ones that followed.
Changes in me. Changes in how I trusted. laughed. cared. smiled. talked. opened up. viewed life.
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