D.L.D...it's a serious condition.

Dishwasher Loading Disease....

Let me explain.

Somewhere in my genetic make-up, dad passed down obsessive dishwasher loading. It edges on insanity and I can't convince my husband to jump on the crazy with me. The brother in law will attest that Cari has this exact genetic tick as well. Both husbands will also admit to loading the dishwasher as fast as possible and hitting 'run' so we don't the see the disasterous waste of space they have left.

There are several principles that rule dishwasher loading for me.

Uniformity. The plates. Love them, hate them. All plates big or little must face the left hand side of the dishwasher. This is for maximum square inch usage as they are oversize and can only face one way. In fact, when purchasing a new dishwasher we entered every store holding a blue ceramic plate.

Placement. Certain dishes or bowls must be placed in the exact same spot every time. The striped ceramic bowl goes in the front left corner. The Rubbermaid drink bottle fits perfectly into little vacant spot it leaves. The bowls go on the top rack all the way to the right.

Time. You must be efficient at this as well. Dilly dallying will not be tolerated. I can load the whole dishwasher in less than 5 minutes most days...why can't you?! Not to mention, if I have to unload it...that's 7-8 minutes to get everything out and put away.

Best time ever was 10 minutes. Yeah, I timed it. Gotta entertain myself somehow or suffer a slow brain death from domestic boredom.

Bonus points. Creativity in loading, like putting the strainer on top of the sippies, it does not need it's own zip code. Figuring out how to fit the 's' piece in, like the ceramic crock pot or my roasting pan. Maximum items per square inch, jigsawing all the little sippy lids, straws, wire wisks into a dishwasher mosaic on the rack.

Now that you know the rules you can load my dishwasher, make sure I'm out of the room. Please don't make me lean against the counter with my arms crossed tightly across my chest to keep my arms from flying out towards the dishwasher to FIX it!