These are the times you will look back on. It is rare that you will remember the 'perfect' days, but rather that five minutes or less when your child opens the lens of the world a little wider.
A little brother sister love on a Saturday morning. I'm sure the hubby is happy he's sleeping through this one. And now mommy will break for yet another cup of coffee.
''Buddy get off my part of the couch! Mommy he's touching me!!!'' ''Norwahhh! Stop it Norwahhhh. My pillow, my blanket, my cartoon. Stop!!!!!''
Nothing like torturing your kids with a quest in southern California to find a recycling place. And point out all the beautiful sites.
*listened to this dreamy thought from the back seat, ''Look it's Paris!'' Ummm, no no it's not. That is a ridiculously large powerline tower, if only we were in Paris instead. Maybe a little too much Gaspard and Lisa.
Getting so caught up in housework for ummm, the first time in a long time that this one happened.....
had a moment. OMGosh, the back door is open, Trent are you outside? Trent? Trent, buddy where are you! Proceed to me running in and out of the house.....giggle under my bed after being a mad woman for what seemed like eternity. Never been so relieved and wanting to throttle child at same time. Oh, those baby blues never looked so precious tearing up because mommy scared us. Never again buddy, OK?
Then your heart skips a beat out of pure joy.
''Norwah, don't cry, I sing you a song. Don't cry, I sing you a song. La la lah.'' My little man putting words to a made up melody of his own to cheer up sister.
It doesn't really get better on most days. All the fluffy edited pictures you take can not capture this, only your heart can.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Putting myself out there to be hurt is HARD. I think anyone would agree.
I feel like I've walked through life the last two years or so in a bit of a blur. Highs and lows. Resolutions and regret. Love and loss. Rights and wrongs.
Rights and wrongs and regret have been on my mind for a while now. As mommies, I think we get caught up in our kids, our responsibilities and let important things slide. Then slide a little more. Until we are embarrassed to even admit our responsibility.
I've had bigger missteps in my life, but about three years ago I let someone go. We were both busy being mommies, miles apart and time got limited for phone conversations. And emails. And then my phone died a watery death and the phone number was gone.
It was always on my list. I would tell myself, just shoot an email to her, takes seconds. Funny, how those seconds seemed too important at the time to STOP. But then again, I am a seasoned procrastinator so the pushing off of things isn't a stranger to me.
That all changed this week. I stopped procrastinating. Sucked up my pride and wrote an email. The email had the normal day to day stuff in it. And the update on everything that's been going on with my health. Not meant as a pity me, just an FYI. I tried not to give the disease to much of a roll in the loss of communication, but it did play it's part.
The rest of it. That was my doing, and I take responsibility for that. We've both fought the same battles, she before I, and I was not there for a time. An important time. I understand that now that my closest friends have rallied to my side. I am sorry. So sorry.
With the email, I chose to face possible rejection. I own it. But I still wait, hoping for a response from a lost friend.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Ow!
Pretty sure the Hughes Syndrome is in an active phase again this week. My guess is that my immune system has taken a major hit with the holidays, stomach bug, and sinus infection in the last month. The immune system can only recover so quickly and mine seems to be slow on the uptake.
Basic symptoms.
Tired! Like falling asleep on the couch at 10pm or earlier every night. This is odd for me, we are usually midnight owls watching tv and reading books.
Nauseous and not feeling right on and off.
Some weird spells of fuzzy vision or spinning vision as I call it.
Right arm pain. Two days of it now, the bone deep grip feeling on my bicep.
Grumpy and impatient, despite being on meds. Yeah, I've lost my temper several times with the kids. That level of irritability is not normal.
So, now to sit back and see if this passes or if I'm going through another flare period that will last a month or two. A lot of sunshine and rest is ordered for this week. My plan is to take the kids to the park a LOT to help up my vitamin D. Added pomegranate juice to my diet every other day to get some extra antibodies in a natural form. And rest, the biggest lesson I've had to learn this year. SLEEP! If my body says sleep, obey.
Basic symptoms.
Tired! Like falling asleep on the couch at 10pm or earlier every night. This is odd for me, we are usually midnight owls watching tv and reading books.
Nauseous and not feeling right on and off.
Some weird spells of fuzzy vision or spinning vision as I call it.
Right arm pain. Two days of it now, the bone deep grip feeling on my bicep.
Grumpy and impatient, despite being on meds. Yeah, I've lost my temper several times with the kids. That level of irritability is not normal.
So, now to sit back and see if this passes or if I'm going through another flare period that will last a month or two. A lot of sunshine and rest is ordered for this week. My plan is to take the kids to the park a LOT to help up my vitamin D. Added pomegranate juice to my diet every other day to get some extra antibodies in a natural form. And rest, the biggest lesson I've had to learn this year. SLEEP! If my body says sleep, obey.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Yeah, so I can no longer remember the end of the trip or for that matter the last six weeks. My Facebook status will have to act as a journal.
Nov. 28th - Is awarding Nora comment of the day with her declaration "mommy, I will pee my pants if we don't stop in ten minutes. I promise." Tonite we call OKC home....tomorrow Albequerque.
(Loki decided to hide under the bed platform at the hotel. We had to disassemble two beds to get her out!)
Nov. 29th - taught the kids about wind farms, plateaus, orange construction zone signs, stock yards, and mountains today. Trying to keep the preschool learning going on the road. Nora then told me to 'slow down' at the orange diamond and ask if she was going to ''eat that cow'' as we passed the stock yard.
(Not so impressed with ALQ, or at least the part we saw. Awesome full moon over the mountains)
Nov. 30th - Gives Trent most embarassing comment of the day. "Mommy!!! A piiiirat! Arrrrrrr!" After he saw a man with an eyepatch. He also wins most demanding child. "Mommy. Wanna chicken nungets! Wanna get out! Wanna gas station!" Yea, that was all one sentence. Got to McD's, "Wanna paygound...ohhhhh man. No paygound!" Love him!
(oh yeah! Our credit card isn't working in the middle on NM. Nevermind, CC frozen due to erroneous charge of $3 in the UK. Awesome)
- any mommies awake with Croup experience?....Our little man woke up ''barking'' at midnight. (This ended in a trip to urgent care 48 hrs after we arrived in California)
Dec. 1st. - comment of the day to Nora....''mommy California doesn't look so good.'' as we crossed the state line. Don't really blame her, nothing but barren mountain and valley ahead.
- Is "home" after 2348 miles with 2 kids and the cat. And Rich too.
Dec. 3rd. - Is confused. This is the sunshine state, right? Because three days of wetness has Nora telling mommy she lied about all the sunshine. In better news, we got all our stuff today! Falling into bed worn out. (ok, not the Sunshine state, but I was promised sunshine!)
Dec. 5th - if anyone was wondering how much your 'stuff' might weigh and the insanity in moving. The truck load was 13,900 lbs! Not including the ridiculous amount of stuff in my in-laws basement or the MANY donations that were made to the Goodwill.
Dec. 6th - has held out for wine, but can not any longer. One kid to urgent care, one cat to urgent care, meet with cable and internet people, meet with workers to reconnect washer dryer and uncrate breakables, grocery shop, mail out sold order off Etsy, find Nora's new preschool, and unpack what feels like the clutter of the world. Just a glimpse into the last 48 hrs.
Dec. 8th - being emotional rock for my children is wearing me out! Love them and so want them to find happiness here. We are making little steps every day trying to find our normal again.
Dec. 11th - ending an awesome day. Nora had a great day at preschool, errands run, laundry done, kids to playground twice, hubby home early, a small nap for me, and wake up to Rich making dinner. Awesome.
Dec 18th - mommy comes down with EPIC stomach virus that sends her anxiety into a tail spin.
Dec. 18th - has no words, what do you say when your 5 year old tells you, ''mommy, I'm going to unload the dishwasher so you can rest. I don't want you to do anything." LOVE her, there are days like these that I don't how we were so blessed.
Dec. 19th - Nora gets stomach virus from mommy
Dec. 20th - is thankful for the kindness of strangers. Trent pointed at a older bearded man and said, ''mommy it's Santa Clause!'' The man completely played along and actually admitted to being a for hire Santa. He was there buy candy canes for a job. He waited for us to leave the store and asked Trent to be good for mommy this year and handed him a candy cane. Thank you sir for showing some love in the world this week.
Dec. 21st - has discovered a problem with the new house. Trent can OPEN the fridge, this results in him eating like a hobbit all day and surprising us with his food choices.
Dec. 24th - is most blessed this year with a loving husband, awesome kids, and my health. Sometimes this little things like being able to piggy back your giggling child to look at Xmas lights is all the joy you need to make the season. Merry Christmas friends, may you find many blessings.
Dec. 27th - had an evening of oddities. Trent tells me he needs to eat lots to make his tummy and legs happy, Nora is scratching her tummy with a megablock, and we just had a discussion on whether or not sitting on the subwoofer is an appropriate time out spot.
Dec. 30th - sitting in a house full of family, soups simmering, Trent playing cars with Poppie, Mimi reading a book and Nora crafting....ahh, this is the part of the holidays I love.
Jan 31st - mommy's head is going to explode, or at least the right side of my face! Worst. Sinus. Infection. EVER! (This marks the 3rd New Years Eve in a row of illness)
Jan - 4th - has a little boy with 10 stitches in his hand. He tried to help sister make a lemonade stand on the driveway. In his own words, ''I get the coins, I fall down, mash a piggy bank, get a big owie on my hand.''
- has found that the phrase 'Stop doing 'X' or you might get a BIG owie' has taken on a new meaning for after Trent's stitches. My little daredevil might believe me now and slow down!
Jan 7th - Trent gets the stomach bug
Jan -8th - Daddy gets the stomach bug.
(If you notice the girls and boys got sick at the same time. Showing the solidarity in illness!)
Jan 9th - is in agreement with Rich, the barfing has got to stop. We have had more projectile liquid incidents since moving to California than in the 11 yrs we lived in Georgia.
Jan 10th - is having a great day. Errands with Trent, went to Mission Hospital to donate toys, Nora had a great day at school, mail store, chores, hanging pictures, and now coloring with the kiddos. My favorite part, giving toys to the pediatric ER that treated Trent's hand last week. Their treasure box overfloweth.
That should just about summerize it up till now.
Nov. 28th - Is awarding Nora comment of the day with her declaration "mommy, I will pee my pants if we don't stop in ten minutes. I promise." Tonite we call OKC home....tomorrow Albequerque.
(Loki decided to hide under the bed platform at the hotel. We had to disassemble two beds to get her out!)
Nov. 29th - taught the kids about wind farms, plateaus, orange construction zone signs, stock yards, and mountains today. Trying to keep the preschool learning going on the road. Nora then told me to 'slow down' at the orange diamond and ask if she was going to ''eat that cow'' as we passed the stock yard.
(Not so impressed with ALQ, or at least the part we saw. Awesome full moon over the mountains)
Nov. 30th - Gives Trent most embarassing comment of the day. "Mommy!!! A piiiirat! Arrrrrrr!" After he saw a man with an eyepatch. He also wins most demanding child. "Mommy. Wanna chicken nungets! Wanna get out! Wanna gas station!" Yea, that was all one sentence. Got to McD's, "Wanna paygound...ohhhhh man. No paygound!" Love him!
(oh yeah! Our credit card isn't working in the middle on NM. Nevermind, CC frozen due to erroneous charge of $3 in the UK. Awesome)
- any mommies awake with Croup experience?....Our little man woke up ''barking'' at midnight. (This ended in a trip to urgent care 48 hrs after we arrived in California)
Dec. 1st. - comment of the day to Nora....''mommy California doesn't look so good.'' as we crossed the state line. Don't really blame her, nothing but barren mountain and valley ahead.
- Is "home" after 2348 miles with 2 kids and the cat. And Rich too.
Dec. 3rd. - Is confused. This is the sunshine state, right? Because three days of wetness has Nora telling mommy she lied about all the sunshine. In better news, we got all our stuff today! Falling into bed worn out. (ok, not the Sunshine state, but I was promised sunshine!)
Dec. 5th - if anyone was wondering how much your 'stuff' might weigh and the insanity in moving. The truck load was 13,900 lbs! Not including the ridiculous amount of stuff in my in-laws basement or the MANY donations that were made to the Goodwill.
Dec. 6th - has held out for wine, but can not any longer. One kid to urgent care, one cat to urgent care, meet with cable and internet people, meet with workers to reconnect washer dryer and uncrate breakables, grocery shop, mail out sold order off Etsy, find Nora's new preschool, and unpack what feels like the clutter of the world. Just a glimpse into the last 48 hrs.
Dec. 8th - being emotional rock for my children is wearing me out! Love them and so want them to find happiness here. We are making little steps every day trying to find our normal again.
Dec. 11th - ending an awesome day. Nora had a great day at preschool, errands run, laundry done, kids to playground twice, hubby home early, a small nap for me, and wake up to Rich making dinner. Awesome.
Dec 18th - mommy comes down with EPIC stomach virus that sends her anxiety into a tail spin.
Dec. 18th - has no words, what do you say when your 5 year old tells you, ''mommy, I'm going to unload the dishwasher so you can rest. I don't want you to do anything." LOVE her, there are days like these that I don't how we were so blessed.
Dec. 19th - Nora gets stomach virus from mommy
Dec. 20th - is thankful for the kindness of strangers. Trent pointed at a older bearded man and said, ''mommy it's Santa Clause!'' The man completely played along and actually admitted to being a for hire Santa. He was there buy candy canes for a job. He waited for us to leave the store and asked Trent to be good for mommy this year and handed him a candy cane. Thank you sir for showing some love in the world this week.
Dec. 21st - has discovered a problem with the new house. Trent can OPEN the fridge, this results in him eating like a hobbit all day and surprising us with his food choices.
Dec. 24th - is most blessed this year with a loving husband, awesome kids, and my health. Sometimes this little things like being able to piggy back your giggling child to look at Xmas lights is all the joy you need to make the season. Merry Christmas friends, may you find many blessings.
Dec. 27th - had an evening of oddities. Trent tells me he needs to eat lots to make his tummy and legs happy, Nora is scratching her tummy with a megablock, and we just had a discussion on whether or not sitting on the subwoofer is an appropriate time out spot.
Dec. 30th - sitting in a house full of family, soups simmering, Trent playing cars with Poppie, Mimi reading a book and Nora crafting....ahh, this is the part of the holidays I love.
Jan 31st - mommy's head is going to explode, or at least the right side of my face! Worst. Sinus. Infection. EVER! (This marks the 3rd New Years Eve in a row of illness)
Jan - 4th - has a little boy with 10 stitches in his hand. He tried to help sister make a lemonade stand on the driveway. In his own words, ''I get the coins, I fall down, mash a piggy bank, get a big owie on my hand.''
- has found that the phrase 'Stop doing 'X' or you might get a BIG owie' has taken on a new meaning for after Trent's stitches. My little daredevil might believe me now and slow down!
Jan 7th - Trent gets the stomach bug
Jan -8th - Daddy gets the stomach bug.
(If you notice the girls and boys got sick at the same time. Showing the solidarity in illness!)
Jan 9th - is in agreement with Rich, the barfing has got to stop. We have had more projectile liquid incidents since moving to California than in the 11 yrs we lived in Georgia.
Jan 10th - is having a great day. Errands with Trent, went to Mission Hospital to donate toys, Nora had a great day at school, mail store, chores, hanging pictures, and now coloring with the kiddos. My favorite part, giving toys to the pediatric ER that treated Trent's hand last week. Their treasure box overfloweth.
That should just about summerize it up till now.
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