I can not really find the words to write this post. So, it will not be overly eloquent or well written.
Some things I do not talk about much....this is one of them. Because it was my pain but not really all at the same time.
It has been my uncle and cousins pain for the past 32 mths.
Watching slowly as my Aunt fought against a survival percentage of 10%. Watching her body slowly heal, only for the cancer to pop up somewhere else. Watching her body reject the chemo. Watching her find calm acceptance to stop treatment and embrace the time she had left.
The time she had left was a very short 3 wks after the chemo stopped dripping.
She died today at the age of 52.
She was at home, at peace in her bed with family and pastor surrounding her as she met her mommy and daddy in heaven. I'm sure they held her and cried all the tears and hurt they could not heal from their heavenly seats.
I ask her to say hello. Hello to the little soul that is soon to join us. To guide his way safely into our arms in the coming days.
In the same breathe I will say hello to my son, there will be a note of a sad goodbye.
These two souls exchanged in joy and sadness.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Blah....bring on the rain.
Ugh! Get out, get out! Sending Trent an eviction notice that has HUGE lettters!!!.
Dr. appt. today was a little disappointing...
1 cm dilated STILL!
50% effaced, although I've heard that's more important than the dilating.
Weight, I actually lost .5 from last week so hooray on that. OR maybe I didn't lose as much as one of the nurses took pity on me and finally subtracted a merciful .5 for clothes! Yeah, all pregnancy these crazies haven't been cutting me any slack on the platform of evil.
Blood pressure - a fabulous 110/70 so we can rejoice that.
I was so hoping they would strip my membranes today but no dice. Guess if the Dr. doesn't think it's favorable then I'll trust Dr. Tagechian on that one.....Last time, I went into labor 36 hrs after this was done....
Next hope of something 'causing' labor to start...the BIG thunder storm system that just flooded New Braunfels is headed this way. Nora was born 12 hrs before the drought of 2007 broke with rain for 4 days. Maybe my kiddos like the rain, we will see.
Dr. appt. today was a little disappointing...
1 cm dilated STILL!
50% effaced, although I've heard that's more important than the dilating.
Weight, I actually lost .5 from last week so hooray on that. OR maybe I didn't lose as much as one of the nurses took pity on me and finally subtracted a merciful .5 for clothes! Yeah, all pregnancy these crazies haven't been cutting me any slack on the platform of evil.
Blood pressure - a fabulous 110/70 so we can rejoice that.
I was so hoping they would strip my membranes today but no dice. Guess if the Dr. doesn't think it's favorable then I'll trust Dr. Tagechian on that one.....Last time, I went into labor 36 hrs after this was done....
Next hope of something 'causing' labor to start...the BIG thunder storm system that just flooded New Braunfels is headed this way. Nora was born 12 hrs before the drought of 2007 broke with rain for 4 days. Maybe my kiddos like the rain, we will see.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
A little ray.....
I was so going into today's appointment with a 'blah, I'll take whatever' attitude....and I got a ray of sunshine....
1 cm dilated!!! - I didn't reach this point until almost 39 wks last time....woohoo for this at 37 wks!
baby is low - I could have told the Dr. that! I've been getting zinged in the crotch for about a week now.
baby still measuring about a week ahead so - June 18th or so...Dr. says I'm on borrowed time after next Wed. when I hit 38 wks. My middle of the night phone calls have been notified.
baby heartrate - 130's
baby is a MOVER, Dr. commented that he shouldn't be able to dodge the
heart monitor because it's too squished in there...he has other ideas about what movement limits should be.
Me -
Iron is perfect after being low
BP - 102/70 - still stupid low but better that than high.
weight - up .5 lbs after last week...glad to see a slowing in that. This puts me at gaining 28.5 lbs so far. I gained 32 with Nora so right on track for the same.
AHHHH, and now to get myself all prepared with excessive nesting and snuggling time with Nora....am I ready for this?...Probably not, but I'll have a little faith and find the strength to figure it all out.
1 cm dilated!!! - I didn't reach this point until almost 39 wks last time....woohoo for this at 37 wks!
baby is low - I could have told the Dr. that! I've been getting zinged in the crotch for about a week now.
baby still measuring about a week ahead so - June 18th or so...Dr. says I'm on borrowed time after next Wed. when I hit 38 wks. My middle of the night phone calls have been notified.
baby heartrate - 130's
baby is a MOVER, Dr. commented that he shouldn't be able to dodge the
heart monitor because it's too squished in there...he has other ideas about what movement limits should be.
Me -
Iron is perfect after being low
BP - 102/70 - still stupid low but better that than high.
weight - up .5 lbs after last week...glad to see a slowing in that. This puts me at gaining 28.5 lbs so far. I gained 32 with Nora so right on track for the same.
AHHHH, and now to get myself all prepared with excessive nesting and snuggling time with Nora....am I ready for this?...Probably not, but I'll have a little faith and find the strength to figure it all out.
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