Observations from the Bubble

I lived in a Bubble last week. Not actually a bubble, more like the bubble of grief. I KNEW, knew before I even picked up the phone what was on the other end. The phone had rung twice inside 5 mins. before 8am our time. I KNEW.

Within minutes of getting THAT phone call my mind created the 'compartmentaliztion bubble' for all the tasks that I need to get done before leaving the house. I did not focus on feeling anything, sadness, loneliness, happy, sad, because if I felt I would not be productive. My world went grey. Rich offered to stay home, but I sent him to work. It would be easier if my 'list' of thing got done by me, the way I wanted it.

We went to bed but I did not sleep because my sleeping mind was trying to burst the bubble of numbness I had created, the 'survival mode' that I had set. Woke up, blind to the day before me. Got on a plane, got off a plane, got on another plane, got off a plane, finally in Texas.

And so it began, the line of friends and distant relatives carrying thoughts of sorrow and platters and pots filled with comfort. So enters the 'epicurean bubble'. How do these people know the perfect combination of food to soothe the soul in times like these. The chocolate cakes, steamy cinnamon rolls, rich meats, and cheeses.

The food bound us together for moments during the day, moments to appreciate those that are still here and remember Papa. We created more memories as the grief spilled into laughter and remembrances for the eulogies and readings.

We all lived in the 'remembering bubble for several days, each of us in our own space. My dad at his office desk, head bent for hours on end over a legal pad, massaging each word of the eulogy until it was a perfect outline of Papa's life, loves, and character. The eulogy was a beautiful letter of love from a son to a father.

Cousins talking about how Papa was most likely greeting the pearly gates with a 'Howdee DO, this place is classy' as only he could say those words. Tradition was what stuck in our minds. Papa was ALL about his tradition. Traditions of the grandchildren doing Christmas programs, patriotic July 4th readings, raising the flag, quarter bets on the Kentucky Derby, pineapple sherbet, the 'center' of the watermelon, baseball games, arrowhead hunting, the Pink Cadillac go cart, and so many other things that would only make us smile.

Eventually the bubble has to pop. So we sat and stood in 35mph gusts of wind and said 'Goodbye' to a man that had shaped his family. A man with great faith, belief in the covenant of family, the strength of friendship, and the important of character and class.