Beyond the Cliche

Today.

I feel normal.

I didn't want to get out of bed, but that was only because Rich slept in today and we were cuddled. The kids were down the hall chattering at each other.

Did I mention that Nora has learned to crawl into Trent's crib? Just smooshes her foot between the rails in between the mattress and legs it over. There are many rules invovling this, one being, DO NOT try to get brother out of the crib. But there are sweet giggles and squeals drifting down the hall most mornings.

The five minutes of crib time lets me get my bearings.

Except today. Today I woke up with my bearings. I almost skipped taking my anti-anxiety pill. Yea, yeah....I know. I took half because it says I can take 1/2 to a whole. Still within prescription bounds.

Then the morning just flowed, easily and it was like breathing in spring.

Fed the kids.

I cleaned the kitchen. Started the dishwasher. Swept and vacuumed the tile. I did this without thinking about it and drudging my way through it.

Then I made our bed, virtually unheard of. (and for the second day in a row)

Checked on the kids playing in the bonus room. Pulled Trent away from a socket...he's obsessed right now.

Picked up all the extra cups in the bonus room and took them downstairs.

Did the trash across the top of the house and actually went outside to deposit in the big trash can. Most of the time it hits the garage floor right outside the laundry room door to be taken out later.

Got the kids both dressed in record time. WITH, I might add very little whining from Nora. This whining stage is going to be the end of my patience.

I put a load of clothes in the dryer. Filled the washing machine with dirty clothes to run later.

Had a friend come to watch the kids while I went to the pscyho, Ann.

Sat in the waiting room. Interesting people watching. Small innocent looking little boy with shoe laces untied, angsty teenager throwing herself on couch arms crossed, and retired age woman in running suit. Fun to make up in my head what their problems might be.

Talked to psycho. Most of the time feeling like a rambling idiot but whatever she's getting inside my head. We did discuss the misconception that motherhood is suppose to be poetic or at least people will wax poetic about it. Trust me there are those days, but it's not the norm. This is what I got out of today....most sayings about motherhood are cliches. These cliches are verbalized on the GOOD days....

You will never see a plaque reading ....'Some days, 'mommy?' sounds like nails on a chalkboard' hanging above a doorframe in your friends kitchen. Because who would be inspired by that.

Nooooooo all the plaques at Hobby Lobby read, 'My children, my heart walking outside my body' or 'My children taught me the meaning of life.'' Which in reality, parents are suppose to be teaching children about life. What if you screw that up? There is no report card to give you a 'U' for unsatisfactory in morals and an 'S' for satisfactory in problem solving.

What you might get is a angsty teenager that throws herself onto leaather couches in a doctors office.

So that was therapy today.

Came home. Talked with friend who sat with kiddos.

Suggested going outside to Nora and got a resounding 'YESSSSS!' Nora wanted to go on a walk so she pushed her baby stroller while I pushed Trent. Ran into another friend driving home and talked to her on the sidewalk.

Did yard picnic lunch with kiddos for an hour.

Came in and put Trent down for nap like clockwork. Bottle, burp....mommy give me my snuggle blanket and he is OUT!.

And now, I'm snuggled on the couch with my girl watching 'Tinkerbell'.

Tomorrow could just be one continuous domestic and parental war, but today is the cliche.

Atmosphere

I will admit to sleeping badly last night. My subconscious was not settled about the going to the psychologist today.

Errr....shiver...that's sort of sounds like a dirty word. Psychologist.

Add in the hectic morning of two clients, one of whom was two chatty for her own good and the sanity of my schedule. I was a little stressed flying into the garage with 30 mins to my appointment.

Then, I printed out the pre-forms....oh dear...12 pages! Ekkkkkk!!! Guess I should have done that homework before hand.

Note: Discuss excellence in procrastination with doctor.

I got to the office with 10 minutes to spare. Sat in the parking lot trying to fill in ask many blanks as possible. Realized after almost 8 yrs of marriage I still don't know Rich's SSN or the address of his work.

I should take a picture of the building. All salmon pink brick reminiscent of a bank with weird Greek columns and French Doors. The building itself seems conflicted in its identity, how ironic!

The waiting room has big overstuffed leather couches which is a first for me in a doctors office. The walls were sort of painted a light blue grey and depending I guess that could be soothing or gloomy.

Then I spotted it. Or rather heard it. From the floor, right by the check in window there was a ancient looking cylinder. It was emitting white noise into the room, rather loudly in fact. Too loud to make it soothing to me. All I could think about was the machine in Trents' room that emits a like noise to simulate the 'womb' atmosphere.

Tricky, Tricky these doctors are trying to regress you right from the start! Or they have a sick sense of humor about these things after so many years treating patients.