Being Sincere

I don't know if I read it somewhere or heard it at church, but there is a thought stuck in my head.

''Be sincere in your prayers and thoughts, God will make things happen.''

For five months we have had a diagnosis hanging over our heads, I must admit that in that time I questioned things and got mad at the world.  I think Rich took over with the denial phase for me, he denied anything was wrong until we actually got an answer.

We had a conversation last week, where I told Rich that these last five months have taught me more about patience and letting control go than anything else in my life.  I don't have time or the energy to dwell on negativity.  I can't.  On that day, I didn't know what my prognosis was but I did know that my time on earth might be shorter than expected.

I declared myself DONE with worrying my life away.  My  marriage and kids are the most important things, nothing else compares to that.

My thoughts went upward with a sincerity of hope.  Someone or something give me hope and open that proverbial window.  I was at peace over the weekend, not knowing.  A voice inside me told me everything was going to be ok, to just hold on for the ride.

Note taken.

On Saturday we had a man from Connecticut walk through our house as a potential lease.  We happened to be home but sequestered to the backyard doing chores while he toured the house.  He came out and asked us questions and I just got the feeling of a truly honest person.

That day after he left, I stopped and sent up another wish.  Please, please let him be the one to rent our house, he feels like a kind soul.  And with that, the rest of the weekend unfolded perfectly into that last blissful moment of Sunday night.

Monday morning, Bonnie Jo called from the neurologists office.  I didn't even hold my breath as she spoke the words, ''Your spinal tap is clear honey.  We are referring you back to the hematologist for Hughes Syndrome.''  And the weight of the world seemed to come off my shoulders in that moment.

Yes, I'm still sick.  Yes, I still have a mountain to climb but it's doable.  This disease is treatable.  I will still be able bodied mommy.  All the fears of moving forward as a mom and wife were cut in half.  Thank you, thank you to all those angels looking over me.  Thank you for putting doctors in my path that cared with understanding hearts and believed in their patient.

One hour later we found out that the man from Connecticut was flying his wife down to make the final decision on the house.  WOW!  Our house was also his favorite according to the realtor.

I was home again when the wife came by. She is a kind and sweet soul that exuded warmth and a relatable momminess.  I felt like we were old friends as she asked me questions about my home after touring it.  An hour after she left, we got a call saying the couple had put an application in on the house.

Our prayers and hopes for the next stage of life have been answered.