It's Like the Toilet Exploded!

The EPICNESS of the poop mess that I just found can not EVEN be described!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Massive poop IN the toilet, back rim of toilet iced with more poop, substantial poop ON the side of the bathtub, at least 4 deposits on the floor and rug, poop smashed all over his backside the size of a hamburger patty, down both legs, and a just for flare a small dollup in the hallway on the WHITE carpet.

OMG!  I must have stepped in poop 4 or five times.  Mind you I had just gotten out of the shower.  Note: take another shower.

Trent told me he got in the bathtub to clean...''too much poopy''

Something told me not to linger in the shower...I now know why

I am almost regretting not taking a picture.  So I sent the above description to the hubby......And so begins our conversation.  It is worth noting that hubby is terrified and appalled by poop of the human or animal  kind.  Can not even begin to list the words of disgust and vialness he uses while changing a diaper.  As a mom, I find it laughable.

Bug:  LOL

......oh my god LOL

i hurt

 me:  It had to have been more than a pound of poo

 Bug:  "too much poopy"

oh ouch my face hurts

me:  He has a way with words

 Bug:  so he climbed in the bathtub by himself? i'm a little confused on that part

the rest is so damn funny i might throw up

me:  Yes, the poop was on the top edge of the tub....He says, 'I get in there, make a mess'

 Bug:  but why did he get in there in the first place? because of the initial mess?

 me:  Based on the poo trajectory on the floor, I'm guess he pooped in his little potty, smeared it all over his backside

decided this would take a major clean up and tried to climb in the tub.

THEN, he had to poop more and couldn't hold it.

 me:  THE, he decided to come find me and a small slab fell off his little tush when he walked out of the bathroom.

Remarkably, he managed to negotiate the poo mine field without stepping in it.

Bug:  it's fascinating how much poop there was. There's a physics problem here. he really lacks sufficient inside space for the amount of poop you are describing

me:  Apparently not. It would seem he cleared his intestinal tract.

 Bug:  and some sort of n-dimensional space that occupies the same space as his gut

did Nora not see/help?

 me:  Nora was watching cartoons, oblivious to the disaster

 Bug:  lucky her

me:  Yes, lucky her!  She didn't have to use half a package of disinfectant wipes to clean the bathroom...all the while Trent splashed happily in the bathtub while I was cleaning.

And so, the productive part of my day ends.  I now sit with a cup of coffee and a book.

 Bug:  

me:  Be afraid hon, next time you could be on duty

 Sent at 2:26 PM on Thursday

 Bug:  eh, my brain would shut off, and you'd find me catatonic on the ground, surrounded by feral, poo-smeared children.

And after a month of not blogging, I bring you the horrors of having a potty-trained, albeit VERY independent boy.