I don't want....

We've entered another phase with Trent.  He's starting to express things that make him mad, happy, or confusing us with contradictory statements.

''I don't want cheesy noodles, I want FOOD!''  This statement happens a lot.  Apparently, the category of food is subject to interpretation.  

He was asking me what my eyebrows and eyelashes were at bedtime.  When I made him feel his own eyelashes he went nuts, '''EHHHHHHH!   I don't want eyelashes!!!  Take them off!''

The hubby was presented with this confusing statement at breakfast, ''I don't want that bagel, I didn't get it''  Interpretation, he didn't pick the bagel out himself and therefore, it is inferior and not worthy of being eaten.

Continue that into the epic ridiculousness of toddler logic, ''I don't want Nora to go out my door.  No!  NO Nora!  No use my door!''  Trent melted down, like on the garage floor choking sobs because sister got out his car door.  I can't even come up with something rational to calm him down.  One of those moments when I just shook my head, walked away and let him get over his irrational argument. 

There are times when the ''I don't wants'' are purely fueled by exhaustion.  ''Mommy, I don't want to go night night, I want a nap.''   Ok.  He can call it a nap, but it better last at least 10 hrs.

Time seems to confuse him.  We will tell him, Trent '5 minutes then we go home.'  We often get the response, ''I don't want to go yet.  No not yet, two minutes ok?''  Once again, this toddler logic works to our advantage.  We know one day he will be smart enough to know better.

It's Like the Toilet Exploded!

The EPICNESS of the poop mess that I just found can not EVEN be described!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Massive poop IN the toilet, back rim of toilet iced with more poop, substantial poop ON the side of the bathtub, at least 4 deposits on the floor and rug, poop smashed all over his backside the size of a hamburger patty, down both legs, and a just for flare a small dollup in the hallway on the WHITE carpet.

OMG!  I must have stepped in poop 4 or five times.  Mind you I had just gotten out of the shower.  Note: take another shower.

Trent told me he got in the bathtub to clean...''too much poopy''

Something told me not to linger in the shower...I now know why

I am almost regretting not taking a picture.  So I sent the above description to the hubby......And so begins our conversation.  It is worth noting that hubby is terrified and appalled by poop of the human or animal  kind.  Can not even begin to list the words of disgust and vialness he uses while changing a diaper.  As a mom, I find it laughable.

Bug:  LOL

......oh my god LOL

i hurt

 me:  It had to have been more than a pound of poo

 Bug:  "too much poopy"

oh ouch my face hurts

me:  He has a way with words

 Bug:  so he climbed in the bathtub by himself? i'm a little confused on that part

the rest is so damn funny i might throw up

me:  Yes, the poop was on the top edge of the tub....He says, 'I get in there, make a mess'

 Bug:  but why did he get in there in the first place? because of the initial mess?

 me:  Based on the poo trajectory on the floor, I'm guess he pooped in his little potty, smeared it all over his backside

decided this would take a major clean up and tried to climb in the tub.

THEN, he had to poop more and couldn't hold it.

 me:  THE, he decided to come find me and a small slab fell off his little tush when he walked out of the bathroom.

Remarkably, he managed to negotiate the poo mine field without stepping in it.

Bug:  it's fascinating how much poop there was. There's a physics problem here. he really lacks sufficient inside space for the amount of poop you are describing

me:  Apparently not. It would seem he cleared his intestinal tract.

 Bug:  and some sort of n-dimensional space that occupies the same space as his gut

did Nora not see/help?

 me:  Nora was watching cartoons, oblivious to the disaster

 Bug:  lucky her

me:  Yes, lucky her!  She didn't have to use half a package of disinfectant wipes to clean the bathroom...all the while Trent splashed happily in the bathtub while I was cleaning.

And so, the productive part of my day ends.  I now sit with a cup of coffee and a book.

 Bug:  

me:  Be afraid hon, next time you could be on duty

 Sent at 2:26 PM on Thursday

 Bug:  eh, my brain would shut off, and you'd find me catatonic on the ground, surrounded by feral, poo-smeared children.

And after a month of not blogging, I bring you the horrors of having a potty-trained, albeit VERY independent boy.

Boy Shenanigans

This is a fly by because I'm about to head out for work....

Trent had a very 'Trent' morning

He shut himself in the shower and was yelling 'epppppp beees!' (Help Please!)I found him standing behind the glass panel, smiling and holding a bottle of shampoo. Luckily, it wasn't open.

Then he dunked a whole roll of toilet paper in the tank. Thank goodness for high volume toilets that don't clog. He did tell me this was 'uck' and then giggled.

Throwing mega blocks everywhere is fun. Booooom! Through the banister you say? What a fantastic idea, I'm sure mommy will love stepping on one of these.

He got a pen and went to town on sister's cardboard castle. She probably won't be too upset about that.

Throwing pretzels was great fun while watching cartoons. So much for vacuuming this morning.

Books thrown off the shelf for at least the third time before noon.

What? I'm not suppose to eat kitty food? He takes a nibble once a week, I guess just to make sure it hasn't gotten tasty.

Look! I have this weird black rubber thing on a stick. Noooo, that's the toilet bowl plunger! How did you get that!

Ooooo, mommy's new phone. Let me throw that on the floor a couple times.

(there seems to be a throwing things and toilet theme going on.)

And then, we fell asleep snuggling our 'bebe' in the car seat during preschool pickup. Such an angel when he sleeps, mommy can't be upset with his chaos for long.