Today is the last day in our house before the packers arrive.
I've woken up in my misty green bedroom for the last time.
Snuggle with my kids in my bed for the last time.
Made my last cup of coffee in the kitchen.
I will clean my house for the last time(although honestly moving to a 1800 sq. ft. house from this 2900 sq. ft. is going to be awesome in the realm of cleaning)
Last meals to be had, last giggles in the rooms we have called home for almost 9 years.
We are working on all the last touch ups and to do's before we hand over the keys. (We have a renter for the next 18 mths we will be gone)
I am hoping we come back. Pulling away on Tuesday will be a sad moment.
Nora is already crying daily about not leaving Georgia. Why can't daddy get work in Florida or Texas where her cousins are? Her last days have been filled with final playdates and goodbyes that the 5 year old heart cannot understand.
Rich and I are doing our best to keep going since we have not choice. I think the enormity of it all hits us at night before we go to bed and in our restless sleep.
This house has become part of hearts.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Being Sincere
I don't know if I read it somewhere or heard it at church, but there is a thought stuck in my head.
''Be sincere in your prayers and thoughts, God will make things happen.''
For five months we have had a diagnosis hanging over our heads, I must admit that in that time I questioned things and got mad at the world. I think Rich took over with the denial phase for me, he denied anything was wrong until we actually got an answer.
We had a conversation last week, where I told Rich that these last five months have taught me more about patience and letting control go than anything else in my life. I don't have time or the energy to dwell on negativity. I can't. On that day, I didn't know what my prognosis was but I did know that my time on earth might be shorter than expected.
I declared myself DONE with worrying my life away. My marriage and kids are the most important things, nothing else compares to that.
My thoughts went upward with a sincerity of hope. Someone or something give me hope and open that proverbial window. I was at peace over the weekend, not knowing. A voice inside me told me everything was going to be ok, to just hold on for the ride.
Note taken.
On Saturday we had a man from Connecticut walk through our house as a potential lease. We happened to be home but sequestered to the backyard doing chores while he toured the house. He came out and asked us questions and I just got the feeling of a truly honest person.
That day after he left, I stopped and sent up another wish. Please, please let him be the one to rent our house, he feels like a kind soul. And with that, the rest of the weekend unfolded perfectly into that last blissful moment of Sunday night.
Monday morning, Bonnie Jo called from the neurologists office. I didn't even hold my breath as she spoke the words, ''Your spinal tap is clear honey. We are referring you back to the hematologist for Hughes Syndrome.'' And the weight of the world seemed to come off my shoulders in that moment.
Yes, I'm still sick. Yes, I still have a mountain to climb but it's doable. This disease is treatable. I will still be able bodied mommy. All the fears of moving forward as a mom and wife were cut in half. Thank you, thank you to all those angels looking over me. Thank you for putting doctors in my path that cared with understanding hearts and believed in their patient.
One hour later we found out that the man from Connecticut was flying his wife down to make the final decision on the house. WOW! Our house was also his favorite according to the realtor.
I was home again when the wife came by. She is a kind and sweet soul that exuded warmth and a relatable momminess. I felt like we were old friends as she asked me questions about my home after touring it. An hour after she left, we got a call saying the couple had put an application in on the house.
Our prayers and hopes for the next stage of life have been answered.
''Be sincere in your prayers and thoughts, God will make things happen.''
For five months we have had a diagnosis hanging over our heads, I must admit that in that time I questioned things and got mad at the world. I think Rich took over with the denial phase for me, he denied anything was wrong until we actually got an answer.
We had a conversation last week, where I told Rich that these last five months have taught me more about patience and letting control go than anything else in my life. I don't have time or the energy to dwell on negativity. I can't. On that day, I didn't know what my prognosis was but I did know that my time on earth might be shorter than expected.
I declared myself DONE with worrying my life away. My marriage and kids are the most important things, nothing else compares to that.
My thoughts went upward with a sincerity of hope. Someone or something give me hope and open that proverbial window. I was at peace over the weekend, not knowing. A voice inside me told me everything was going to be ok, to just hold on for the ride.
Note taken.
On Saturday we had a man from Connecticut walk through our house as a potential lease. We happened to be home but sequestered to the backyard doing chores while he toured the house. He came out and asked us questions and I just got the feeling of a truly honest person.
That day after he left, I stopped and sent up another wish. Please, please let him be the one to rent our house, he feels like a kind soul. And with that, the rest of the weekend unfolded perfectly into that last blissful moment of Sunday night.
Monday morning, Bonnie Jo called from the neurologists office. I didn't even hold my breath as she spoke the words, ''Your spinal tap is clear honey. We are referring you back to the hematologist for Hughes Syndrome.'' And the weight of the world seemed to come off my shoulders in that moment.
Yes, I'm still sick. Yes, I still have a mountain to climb but it's doable. This disease is treatable. I will still be able bodied mommy. All the fears of moving forward as a mom and wife were cut in half. Thank you, thank you to all those angels looking over me. Thank you for putting doctors in my path that cared with understanding hearts and believed in their patient.
One hour later we found out that the man from Connecticut was flying his wife down to make the final decision on the house. WOW! Our house was also his favorite according to the realtor.
I was home again when the wife came by. She is a kind and sweet soul that exuded warmth and a relatable momminess. I felt like we were old friends as she asked me questions about my home after touring it. An hour after she left, we got a call saying the couple had put an application in on the house.
Our prayers and hopes for the next stage of life have been answered.
Friday, November 9, 2012
No News
I'm going to go with the old adage ''No news, is good news'' since I haven't heard from my neurologists office about the spinal tap results.
It leaves this weekend to solely focus on the last push of organizing and cleaning before the move. ALL the furniture not going to California will be in my in-laws basement. Minus a few nick nacks the pain of 'moving' will be over for us.
I spent the morning cleaning all the windows with Windex to work off my nervous energy. The cat, Loki followed me around basking in the sunlight and purring. Almost two hours later I was done, minus a half bottle of Windex and almost two rolls of paper towels.
Now I am sitting here relaxing. Taking the day off as I promised myself yesterday.
It's a good day.
It leaves this weekend to solely focus on the last push of organizing and cleaning before the move. ALL the furniture not going to California will be in my in-laws basement. Minus a few nick nacks the pain of 'moving' will be over for us.
I spent the morning cleaning all the windows with Windex to work off my nervous energy. The cat, Loki followed me around basking in the sunlight and purring. Almost two hours later I was done, minus a half bottle of Windex and almost two rolls of paper towels.
Now I am sitting here relaxing. Taking the day off as I promised myself yesterday.
It's a good day.
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